Sunday, December 12, 2004
Back in my old home of Adelaide, sitting in the Chinese gouger St internet cafe, my high expectations of marriage have been shown for what they are...Total illusions...my remaining few hopes (ie girls I know well & who know me reasonably well) from my pre-Islamic way of life have all moved on & are no longer in the realms of possibility: Praise Be to God, as disappointed as I feel, it must be so
It's like I've never left already. but yet things have subtly changed, I still feel as isolated as when I left, as a white, educated Australian Muslim here; there is no middle ground, here: the isolated immigrant muslim brothers; same faces same places: still living the commodified House-Mosque routine, they somehow ignore that there is an Australian culture they're living in, they don't dare live or involve themselves in the greater non-muslim community & May God Guide Us All... nor seemingly can I be of any help, I'm an relatively ignorant new muslim...what do I know?
I don't relate to them with my Australian upbringing, bohemian roustabousing, family & old friends...that creeping sense of frustration has returned, as my Aussie friends are still largely getting drunk & taking drugs, so little progress spiritually in this secular paradise, and I feel as isolated from them as ever for the fact of being Muslim is an irrecovable truth to them, I can no longer share their "good times" the reasons I left remain, and away I shall stay until the goal is acheived...
Onto Melbourne soon, Sydney by the 26th for an unusual Islamic event called Does God Exist? is going down at the Opera House with a group of remarkable luminaries : Tariq Ramadan, Harun Yahya Inc , & te ex-hippy & now Sufi Sheikh Noorudeen Durkee (it seems to be the same man, I hope there are not two!)
before flying out via London & the US (the long pacific route) once again to the Land of the Bedu....
cannot find camera to computer cable still looking, so no photos, helas!
but in the meantime as always,