Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Had to Share this one Peace to You thanks Ross whoever you are
If There Were
BY ROSS MURRAY
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Junkie jazz singer sees self in back of spoon; uses clairvoyant powers to bend it until it snaps in two.
Actress who clawed her way to the top catches reflection in pond; uses nearby backhoe to drain pond.
Woman who married for wealth rather than love looks at photo on driver's license; goes to DMV to ask for new photo.
Politician who has forsaken his grass-roots values discovers potato in shape of own head; mashes it.
Burnt-out rock star looks down at himself during out-of-body experience; refuses to go back in body "until we start seeing some changes around here, mister."
Aging supermodel has plaster cast made of face; backs over it in SUV.
Alcoholic author looks at reflection in a tumbler of Scotch; drinks Scotch; pours another to see if he looks any better in this one.